Loosing Control – Meditation practice can help you gain this!
It feels wonderful to be back – Yeh back to meditation. I have sat for only two days running. Its early to say, though I know myself once I decide the commitment follows. Ladies and Gentlemen, Boys and Girls it makes me feel a million dollars, just the anticipation of knowing how different I can be when I am focused. That’s what meditation does for me. Responding calmly to situations instead of automatically reacting, being mindful in many a moment.
I have a really good excuse for my personal negligence. I had a baby 18 months ago. Mika was born three weeks before my 40th and I felt like I was on drugs. Not that I know what that is! I mean I hit cloud 9. I was on a high. I was busy with my baby and adjusting to her and life, I felt so good that I gave up on something that in truth is precious.
When I reflect back on these 18 months I didn’t stop practicing, what happened was that I was not serious. I could go days without sitting. My practice was erratic and I had lost faith. I had my baby girl. I was busy with her, my family including two teenage kids, my career. We all know that even a drug wears off. Truth be known is that I am thankful for this period. It has been an eye opener. I have slowly seen my attention deficit issues worsen and I mean drastically. I have noticed how frustrated and also angry I can be at situations. Different to how I am when I am committed to meditating daily. There is much research with findings of the positive influences of mediation on the brain. I believe that the last year for me has just verified this.
I have realized that I have been mostly on automatic pilot and not conscious of the moment. Since I love control. This is a sure way of being out of it. I do realize that control is an illusion. What we can control is how we choose to respond to any situation. The feeling is terrible when this goes. That’s what happened to me. I noticed there were times where I didn’t have patience that I had before. That I could have behaved differently. I want that part of me back. That’s what meditation gives me. Its a gift of health, of love, of endless surprises.
It has been hard for me to sit. I mostly would much rather be doing something else. Crossing another item of my ever increasing task list. The price has become too high. I know what its like to be with and without constant commitment to mindfulness practice. This time in my life and the self discovery is going to be something I will talk about for years. Its because I know the difference! Meditation make all the difference - I know!
Sam (Samantha) Amit
Professional Mentor, Coach & Trainer