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What I know to be true is that we can ALL move forward and it doesn’t matter if the pace is a slow walk or a gallop ahead. Allowing ourselves space, encouragement and looking for what is right is SO important.

Its six in the morning and I am sitting with my 11 year old son at our dining room table. He is doing his Grammar homework. This is the boy that last week wouldn’t do this very same homework. He received a note from his teacher and still….no matter what I tried or said he was adamant that he was not doing it. This was really hard for me as no matter what I said or tried he was not budging. This morning he is finishing it after starting last night with his Dad’s support.

This makes me realize time and time again that sometimes we cannot push things. Sometimes we need to take a break or give some space. We need to see what’s lying underneath, understand the person in front of us, what drives them, what is meaningful for them? What is keeping them stuck? Once that is found, then finding a rhythm and moving ahead can be easy.

This is what gives me hope. Knowing and believing that anything is possible, when you believe and you invest in what is important.  And remembering that its not only the results (the homework done) that is important – but also the PATH chosen.

March 7th, 2010 | Tags: children, homework, relationships, self-help | Category: Life Coaching, Personal Growth | Leave a comment

Today there are so many distractions that it’s sometimes really hard to get stuck in and get work done. First of all an ideal setting is important. It may be in your office and it may be taking some time out to sit in a quiet coffee shop. If its in your office then ensure that your desk is clear. This helps to think and be more focused.

Imagine you are sitting with a client. If you were in a meeting right now with a client, you wouldn’t be checking your emails, you wouldn’t answer your phone, you wouldn’t use instant messaging. In order to get moving on a project or work assignment, sometimes we need to switch off our phones, close our email accounts and reminder messages that can pop up, exit from any instant messaging and if the Internet is a distraction then close this too.

Have a look at your task list or schedule and decide what you are going to be working on for the next hour solidly. Get everything you need out. Have some paper and a pen on hand incase you all of a sudden remember something you need to do. Write this down on the paper and continue with your task. So often we may be in the middle of something, remember something else and then leave what we are doing so that we don’t forget to do that.

When you have completed what you set out to do, Congratulate yourself. Also notice how focused you can be when your mind is not multi-tasking. Besides, jumping from one task to another can be stressful.

Now you can are probably ready fo some communication with the world again. You will no doubt be waiting for this. Decide in advance how long you want to communicate with others for. So you’ll switch your phone back on. Check your voice mail. Take a break and do some instant messaging. You will spend some time on your e-mail, and you may put some music on in the background.

When this time is over then its back to working without all the communication applications and gadgets that can distract one. Try this out and let me know how you are doing.

Read also How not to drown in your email

By Samantha Amit

February 21st, 2010 | Tags: business success, effectivity, Getting things done, Organization, Time Management, work | Category: Life Coaching, Personal Growth, Time Management | Leave a comment

Have had a lousy week - a number of difficult days.  We all have them sometimes.  There are certain things that get me down and when this happens I notice that its hard for me to be positive and creative.  I get almost stuck.  What I tell myself at these times is what Lau Tzu wrote: “This too shall pass”  or like the song from the movie Annie: “The sun will come out tomorrow”…and it sure does.

The art is to allow ourselves this time to be down or time to be upset.  Sometimes its anger, or frustration or simply feeling overwhelmed.  Whatever our negative feelings, feel them, see them, touch them - even FEAR!!!  I wish I could say - What’s that?  Behind negative feelings, especially anger sits fear.  Meeting fear in the face, acknowledging it, helps us to let go of this and move back to love.    Acceptance of what we are feeling is paramount to moving forward.  Allowing ourselves that space, providing it is nurturing and healing in itself.

What I have come to know is that when I practice this, mindfulness, I feel more alive.  I  notice that whatever my negative feeling is,  it passes much more quickly than when I used to fight it.  Letting things be as they are and being conscious in the moment, non- judgmentally, this is mindfulness.

Life is not about always being positive.  Balance is up and down.  I try to be conscious of this and then when the timing is right I can bring myself up again.  Sometimes with the help of others and sometimes alone.

A new week is about to begin….I look forward to it.

February 19th, 2010 | Tags: emotions, Lau Tzu, Personal Growth, sadness, self-help, stress | Category: Personal Growth | Comments (1)

It’s the weekend here and the difference between a work day and the weekend is very profound. Its 8.30am. I am out walking with my dog.  I walk briskly, however the world around me almost stands still.   I can hear the birds chirping and there is silence between the odd car that goes by.  My business partner ventures out at 6am most mornings to exercise and he enjoys this quiet every day. 

It’s a time for thinking, and for letting my body move.  I am thankful for all I have.  For this day that I am privileged to experience.  It’s a beautiful winter day, the sun is shining down on me and my heart is full of love and appreciation.  I walk for half an hour and come to sit on a bench under a tree. I let my dog wander around me and I close my eyes and spend just 5 minutes in silent meditation.  Its enough because that’s what is.

February 13th, 2010 | Tags: appreciation, exersize, gratitude, health, love, meditation, morning, quiet, silence, walking | Category: Life Coaching, Personal Growth | Comments (1)

Every second of our day is about making choices. The choices we make are integrally related to our decision making. How aware are we, when we say yes, to the consequences of that decision?

I have a client who told me that she believed that she only had to say yes to the things she wanted in life and then she would find a way to fit it all in. This was a mother of 3 who was also working and had decided to take a course she really wanted to study. When she came to me to work on her time management skills she told me that she was living on such little sleep as the only time she had to do her study assignments was late at night and into the early hours of the morning. We started setting more realistic goals by looking ahead, planning her time. She later reported a to me how much more relaxed she is and that she is enjoying life more without the continuous pressure that she had as a result of taking too much upon herself.

I have noticed with many of my clients that the saying yes comes from a desire to please others, a wanting to give. Only this backfires as others suffer in the end starting with you. In the work environment an efficient employee is always sought out to do more. If you are that employee you have a responsibility to your own wellbeing to learn the art of saying no, or more gently like - let me first check my calendar and get back to you, or more directly - I would really like to commit to that or help out only right now my schedule doesn’t allow me to take on any more tasks.

To sum up, some tips ….

· Consideration - Take your time before answering someone that has requested something from you. This allows you to check your calendar, check in with yourself – do I really want to say yes? Ask yourself what are the consequences of my saying yes?

· Calendar – manage your time. I recommend having one calendar for both personal and work related activities. Only write in the calendar something that is date specific. Refer to your calendar and task list before committing to new projects and plan ahead.

· Task management – manage a list of activities. I recommend according to category or subject. For example Chores, At home, To Call, At Computer. These are tasks that are dependent on where you are.

By Samantha Amit

February 12th, 2010 | Tags: Choices, consciousness, Decision making, saying no, Time Management | Category: Decision making, Life Coaching, Personal Growth, Time Management | Leave a comment

I have just come back from spending six nights away at a Vipassana Retreat.  Vipassana  is a Buddha teaching, which believes that the end to your suffering is in knowing yourself and gaining insight into your true nature.    In the hectically busy lives that we lead we miss out on the time for self discovery and self observation.  The retreat is an opportunity to take the time out to go deep within and explore by direct experience your inner terrain.  

I noticed how the fear factor came into play prior to my leaving.   Knowing that this retreat was for six whole nights and that I would have to shut up for the entire time – it’s a silent retreat… I was worried.  Even having meditated for many years now, I had never experienced complete days of silence and introspection.

The first day was difficult.  I felt resistance rising in me to everything from the schedule to the many sitting mediations (I sit once a day as a practice – 20 minutes , not for hours…), to the way the dishes were washed in the dining room (you don’t want to know – save water we did), and on and on.   I still had another five days and my back was already straining.   I did sleep well which was a bonus.

The second day I rose at six and the resistance had dropped.  I love it when that happens…one of my favorite phrases when the going gets tough  is “This too shall pass”.   I enjoyed the direct contact with myself.  I let myself ease into the schedule and skipped one or two of the many meditation sittings without any guilt, rather listening to my inner voice and stopping resisting. 

There are many kinds of retreats.  Most of us, “friends” or “yogis” participating are attracted to a common goal – transformation, awareness,  and depth within our lives.   It may be an idea to find the retreat that best suits you.  This retreat I did was in Israel and combined walking and mediation in nature.   You may want to ruff it like I did and sleep four in dormitory quarters, or you may want a more up market retreat where you have more privacy and sleep alone.      I was privileged to have had three Dharma teachers at our retreat.  I hope to visit Martin Aylward, one of our teachers in France, and combine silent practice with dialogue also have my own private room.  See http://www.moulindechaves.org, it’s really worth checking out.

 The retreat is an amazing time out for intensive learning about oneself and having said this I also truly believe in bringing the practice in various ways into our moment by moment living experiences.

Samantha Amit

October 24th, 2008 | Tags: Vipassana, Vipassana Retreat | Category: Personal Growth | Comments (1)

As Rosh Hashanah, the Jewish New Year nears,  you may want to reflect on your life and your year.   How do you spend your days?  Do you live the life you desire?  Are you happy, fulfilled, and content? Do you experience inner peace?

If you had to stop for a moment and reflect on the happiest times of your life - What would those be?  If you chose three different instances or times where you felt truly happy, perhaps the happiest times of your life, what were they?  Please STOP reading for a minute and think about these happiest times or days of your life and write them down.  

What was there?  What in each instance made this time a happy one for you?  What value or principle was there or what need was met?  Is this principle, value or need a dominant part of your life today?

On this Rosh Hashanah, think about how you would like to make a difference.  Start with one step and by making a commitment whether it is to yourself, your family, or your community.  These small steps make a difference to your world which is also our united world.

For the full article please visit www.ask-your-coach.com/RoshHashanah.html

September 25th, 2008 | Tags: Life Coaching, Personal Growth, Rosh Hashanah | Category: Life Coaching | Comments (1)

Are you able to pause the on-going doing-ness of your life, even for one moment? What do you think would happen if you did?

In our society, time has become one of our greatest stressors. At some stages of our lives -frequently for many of us - there is never enough time to do what we need to do. Often we don’t know where the time has gone; the years pass by so rapidly. At other stages, time may go by slowly, with us not knowing what to do with all the time available to us. Whether you are suffering from too much or too little time, try intentional non-doing. This may sound absurd. My challenge to you however, is to test this proposal in your own life, to see for yourself whether your relationship to time can be transformed through this practice of non-doing. You may also find that you are more present to the journey of your lives, from moment-to-moment.

It is not easy to fit this pause-action into our lives. You may find that most of the time you are really on “automatic pilot,” functioning mechanically, without being fully aware of what you are doing or experiencing. It is as if you are only half awake. Non-doing has nothing to do with being languid or sedentary. Quite the contrary. It takes a significant amount of determination and willingness to cultivate non-doing, both in stillness and in movement. Non-doing simply means letting things be and allowing them to unfold in their own way.

It may sound strange my challenging you to not-do when either there is too little time or alternatively you have “more time on your hands” than you wish. How does this work? Well, the answer to this is quite simple- inner peace exists outside time. There is no salvation in time. You cannot be free in the future.

“Presence is the key to freedom, so you can only be free now” – Eckhart Tolle

Committing yourself to step out of time during the day, whether it is two or five or ten minutes, allows you to transform your experience of time when you go back into it. You then provide yourself with the opportunity to flow along with time rather than feel driven by it or fighting against it.

The more you practice making some time in your day for non-doing, the more your whole day becomes non-doing; in other words your doing becomes infused with an awareness grounded in the present moment.

Compare non-doing to a pause in music. A pause is not a lack of music; it is an integral part of the composition. If a conductor does not hold a pause to its full value, it is like a gunshot firing through a silent night. As Claude Debussy has said, “Music is the space between the notes”.

There is one certain criterion for which you can measure your success in this practice: the degree of peace you feel within.

September 15th, 2008 | Tags: doing, Life Coaching, meditation, Mindfulness | Category: Life Coaching, Mindfulness, Personal Growth | Leave a comment

Welcome to our new blog – yours and mine.   In this blog I am going to concentrate on areas which in my experience are the foundations of personal growth and development.  You can coach yourself to reach a higher self by practicing these base principles.   As a Life Coach to yourself you may want to be encouraging and positive, challenge yourself to reach greater heights, reflect  back on your day gently as an observer and with curiosity rather than judgment.

How this blog came about is that I wanted to share my present life journey with you.  Like most of us, I have experienced some heavy storms, rain, thunder and lightening, and walked through dense bush and shrub.  I have come out of this to reach open fields filled with wild flowers and clear skies.   Today I live with an inner peace, that encompasses joy and bliss, and a curiosity for what lies ahead.  

Storms may come again,  I am ready for them and welcome them in for this is my opportunity for greater personal growth.  How do I do this?   Let’s start with some basic principles that I will be discussing throughout the blog and would welcome your insights: Meditation, Clearing the way, Doing the things you love, Being the Observer of your life, Breathing Life and more.

 I love to learn through others and to keep an open mind and inquire.  So please be active and share with me your experience and what your principles are.

1.       Meditation

This is the first principle that will be discussed throughout the blog.  Meditation for me is a way of life.    If I want to experience inner peace then this for me is one of the essential foundations of getting there and maintaining it. 

I am adding something that I think is so very important.  Mediation is sometimes thought of in a negative light as something “shanty” or not relevant for you.   This couldn’t be farther from the truth.  In our blog we can share studies of how meditation influences human beings.  For example it influences the frontal cortex of the brain and creates more positivity, creativity, intuition and more.  There are a lot of known scientific facts available today….

In order to know what we want and make the right decisions we want to be able to listen to our inner voice and be intuitive.   Our inner voice is like a compass.  Through meditation practice I have learned to tune into myself.

We can do this when our mind is not overactive with so much thinking.  This thinking is the same as external noise only it’s internal.    I believe that if our there was a competition of “mind noise”  in other words whose mind thinks the most, I think I could have stood a good chance of winning. 

When I started meditating there was no way I could still or empty my mind and I didn’t even try to.   I just sat with my purpose in mind – personal growth and faith that this would help me.   I think that this also indirectly taught me to not resist.  I just sat in meditation.   I will also discuss resistance in this blog under the principle being the observer.  Non - Resistance is a jewel to learn.  With me  it has lead  to acceptance and loving what is.  

I wanted to create a new and healthy habit, meditating almost daily.   In my meditation practice in the early days I sat in silence sometimes for as little as five minutes.  Mostly I managed ten to fifteen minutes and no more as my patience for wanting to get on with my day was very strong.     Adyashanti in his approach to meditation is completely relaxed in the respect of just sit.  That’s what I did.  What I started to notice was the movie in my head and I found it so intriguing.  I will write more about my experiences in meditation in this blog and also about mindfulness.  Kabat-Zinn says  ” Mindfulness is paying attention in a particular way, on purpose, in the present moment, non-judgmentally.” 

I have found that even if we don’t  silence the mind and our thoughts we do manage to quieten them.   The less inner noise there is the easier it is for us to gain insight and to be in touch with our inner voice that is our internal guide towards what is true and whole and best for us.

I have evolved in my Meditation practice.  Since I was sixteen,  I did this on and off without sustaining it and making it a part of my everyday life.  Every course I went on taught me a different meditation and I practiced yoga at times.   When I internally made the decision to commit to almost daily practice,  which was only almost 3 years ago, I connected very strongly  to Vipassana mediation.  http://www.dhamma.org/en/vipassana.shtml  “Vipassana, which means to see things as they really are”  

There are over 750 kinds of different mediation practices.  Which one is best for you?   I will discuss the various types I have tried and my experiences as a result of the meditation in this blog.  There is also something called informal meditation which I love.  This is something that you can do in your car at work or wherever you are.  What meditation do you practice?  What’s your experience with meditation? 

2.       Clearing the Way

There are many things  we can work on that will all help us clear the way to uncover our peaceful, loving and joyful selves that are underneath some number of layers  and within us.  One of the biggies is removing disturbing thoughts which we can think of as mental clutter.   In this blog  we can also explore physical clutter which is in our homes, cars, and offices and also let us not forget our bodies.   A healthy body is much better than a neglected one.  Spiritual clutter is another aspect of clearing the way.

Negative thoughts and beliefs are like weeds in a garden.   It’s important to remove negative thoughts ongoing.  Wayne Dyer when he sees one come along says “Next” -  I love that.  I often used to say to myself  “That’s a lie”.  For example if I had a negative thought of disbelief in myself  “you cant do this Sam”  I would say back to my thought “That’s a lie”  As the truth I know is that I can. 

In this blog I intend to continually write about real examples I have experienced myself in  the past and present and how I clear the way and maintain.  Again there are a number of ways.   The trick is to learn a few.  

I would love to hear your comments on how you clear your way and get rid of those weeds.   What are you doing for your body, mind or soul?

Sam Amit

September 12th, 2008 | Tags: Personal Growth | Category: Personal Growth | Leave a comment